I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
