You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
