i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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