it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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