Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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