How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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