I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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