Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
