This girl is more easily done than said...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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