This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
