his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
