Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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