Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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