Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize