Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
