so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize