the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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