Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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