Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
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He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
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I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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