I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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