I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
