He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
