to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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