Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize