i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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