So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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