Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
