she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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