I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
