why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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