So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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