I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
