hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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