She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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