i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
