im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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