He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
