dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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