i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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