I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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