At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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