I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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