I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
