yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
