Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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