Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
