I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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