I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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