Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
