so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Is it penis luge time yet?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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