It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
