the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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