It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
