You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
