I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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