her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
