What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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