I'm going to jail i love you
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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