y did u give ur computer a hand job?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize