If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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