If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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